Andrey M. (LIE) — Initiative, Time, and Independence

Family Foundations

I was lucky: I had a trusting relationship with my mother and a good, warm relationship with my father. There were times when my mother and I would have heart-to-heart talks. My father was a man, and he passed on certain masculine qualities to me. I felt their kindness and love toward me.

Parents were always there, are always there, and always will be. That is just how it is. Now that I have grown children of my own, I realize that children mean more to parents than parents do to children.

A Comfortable Family Environment

My home environment was comfortable and natural; no barriers were put in my way. My parents and I reasoned things out and reached agreements. I don’t remember ever being forbidden from pursuing something that interested me. Growing up, I was always left to my own devices—studies, recreation, work. No one micromanaged me, and there were no problems.

The Importance of Childhood Initiative

A child is a person too, and their endeavors must be supported. It’s better for them to make small mistakes in childhood and learn to navigate life. If you tell a child, “You can’t do that” or “Don’t go there,” they won’t gain their own experience. Killing initiative is dangerous. If my initiative had been crushed in childhood, I don’t know where I would be today.

Growing Up Independent

By the time I was around twelve—or maybe even ten—my parents already viewed me as an authority figure, a smart person, and in some sense even a leader. I always studied on my own; no one ever helped me with homework, and learning came easily to me. I wasn’t told “Don’t do this” or recommended “Do that.” I was a street-smart kid, and my parents were simple working-class people, but I am grateful to them for that. They never held me back: wherever the wind blew me, I went. I knew I wouldn’t be punished as long as I didn’t do anything wrong, and I was independent from an early age. Parental control was minimal.

Logical Explanations and Realistic Boundaries

The only thing I was never allowed to get was a dog. Getting a dog was a dream of mine—an East European Shepherd or a German Shepherd—especially in primary school. However, we lived in a communal apartment with three neighbors, four of us sharing one room. Naturally, there was no space for a dog, especially a big one. They explained this to me simply and reasonably.

There was, of course, a shared hallway, but I was told the neighbors wouldn’t be thrilled, so the matter was dropped. I don’t even fully remember if it needed much explanation—it was logical to me, and my brain reached the conclusion on its own. A child like that understands logical explanations. You have logic, you see the circumstances, and you easily connect the cause-and-effect chain.

Early Curiosity and Engineering Passion

As a child, I was always eager to experiment and try things out. Before starting school, I was fascinated by building kits; my favorite was a German construction set with metal parts, which I used to assemble cars, houses, and other creations. I experimented, trying to invent something new every time.

Starting around the third grade, I began reading Electricity and Radio Amateurs magazine, studying on my own and trying to build things. Then, I happened to meet my cousin from Siberia, who was older than me and whom I had only seen once or twice in my life. During our meeting, he showed me a transistor receiver and said, "I built this myself." I looked at it and became hooked on radio electronics. It was early on—I wasn't even admitted to the radio club yet because I was too young. A year or two later, the time came, and I joined. This passion remained consistent, which led me to enroll in a radio engineering technical college after the eighth grade and graduate with honors.

Natural Inclination Toward Entrepreneurship

People like me have a natural inclination toward entrepreneurship. I come from a not-very-well-off family. Obviously, we never had enough money, and I lacked things other kids had. Even as a child, I understood the importance of money. Yes, I thought about money. The question would come up: “Is it possible to earn something myself?” These questions did arise. And it wasn’t out of resentment like, “Damn, they have money, people give it to them, and so on…” I understood that money doesn’t fall from the sky. You have to earn it. And not by stealing — rather by finding a legitimate way to make money.

Early Earnings and the Search for Independence

Money had been present in my life since childhood. I wondered how to earn it. In primary school I would spend summers working in the village, helping my uncle, and he paid me something. I spent that summer with the specific goal of earning money. I must have been in about fourth grade. Later came technical school, construction brigades, and so on.

When the 1980s arrived, a new question arose: it’s one thing to work and receive a salary, but how do you earn more? Back then, earning more meant engaging in speculation, and that was absolutely unacceptable to me because it was illegal. But when perestroika began, I started thinking: “They’ve actually allowed people to earn money now!” I thought: “How can I earn more while studying at the institute and working at a factory with a limited salary?” I read economic literature, popular magazines, management books — I gravitated in that direction. And then in 1991, I took a risk from scratch, with nothing, and went into business: do or die — and it worked out for me.

Entrepreneurship and the Drive for the New

I dislike routine work; I love inventing and starting new things. I love traveling: reaching a destination, finding out what's around the corner, and exploring. The unknown attracts me—conceiving and executing projects, or launching a new process. Once a process is tuned and running smoothly, it becomes less appealing to me. But starting—that's a yes! When a business launches, it interests me, but I also want to pursue new ideas.

I have an executive director who manages my business while I stay nearby and keep an eye on things. Nevertheless, when it comes to management, let someone else handle it. Although I once considered myself a good manager, I now realize that while I can do it at a certain level, I simply have less desire for it. I lack the 100% motivation required to do the exact same thing day in and day out.

The Role of Money and Fair Exchange

Money mattered to me early on, but it didn't consume my childhood; I had a happy upbringing unaffected by financial constraints. However, I might not have entered business without the strong desire to reach a higher income level. To me, business is about creating value for people to enable honest, fair exchange. Money offers freedom—much like owning a car changes your quality of life. It provides options to enjoy life and help others. I never aimed to accumulate a rigid sum; instead, I got carried away by the sports-like process of pursuing an idea, where money naturally follows as a byproduct.

Attitude Towards Experimentation and Self-Belief

I have never been afraid to experiment or feared that I wouldn’t be able to do something. Of course, not everything always worked out, but I have always started new things easily. In my youth, it all happened naturally and smoothly. You simply feel your strength, believe in it, and, of course, weigh your options. If something genuinely interests you and you realize you are competent to a degree, you move forward believing in luck: “I don’t know how I’ll get there yet, but I’m taking the first step, then the second, the third, and so on.”

Persistence, Goals, and Knowing When to Move On

Looking back on my life, I didn't always finish what I started—in fact, I started far more things than I completed. At a certain point, something would lose my interest, and I would drop it. Still, I achieved major goals in my studies, work, and life. Cultivating and maintaining single-minded determination is useful.

Sometimes I realized that certain goals had lost their meaning, and dropping them before reaching the end was probably logical. You don't have to finish everything. If you suddenly realize a goal is meaningless, why push through? That's one aspect, but determination and finishing what you start are still very important to me. If I had been guided and trained more in that direction as a child, it would be beneficial to me now.

The Perception and Value of Time

At times, I can be a talker. In a conversation, hours can fly by without me feeling pressed for time. Other times, I find myself talking and feeling like I'm wasting time. When I later realize how much time has slipped away while accomplishing so little, it bothers me. Time is an inner value to me, and it feels like I've squandered that value. Time is of immense value to me.

It's important to explain to a child how to use time properly. A child needs to understand that if they aren't organized, they might miss out on things or fail to do something useful and important. If you do something quickly and in an organized way, it frees up time for playing, reading a book, or doing what you love. You need to help them think about their goals in life—maybe even small goals. Teaching them to set goals and manage their time is something well worth teaching.

A lot happens spontaneously for me. In many areas, I've achieved results under tight deadlines—everything at the absolute last minute. That's when you finally push through; otherwise, it can be hard to force yourself. After all, there are tasks we don't really want to do, but they have to be done, so you procrastinate, and then bam—you do it at the last second. That happens too.

Naturally, no one likes waiting, nor do they like being rushed or pushed along. Standing in line or stuck in traffic feels like utterly wasted time... Here, there is only one way out: find something useful to do in the meantime. You have to realize that it’s an inevitable part of life—you can’t escape it, and everyone is equal here: whether you’re rich or poor, you’re stuck in the same traffic. You really just have to accept and internalize that.

Some people even managed to adjust their mindset in concentration camps so that they felt okay and survived, while others are miserable living in luxury. In these situations, you have to recognize that this is just a reality of life. A child needs to be taught how to process different life situations and be guided on how to make rational use of those moments. I keep audiobooks in my car and lectures on an MP3 player—they are fantastic for traffic jams.

Fitness and Accepting Personal Genetics

I also participated in sports as a child. It started with neighborhood soccer and hockey. Later, a swimming pool was built at the local automotive factory, so I went there to swim. I didn't achieve any great athletic results, but swimming was enjoyable and satisfying.

I am naturally quite fast—I walk quickly, faster than average people. For a child like that, I recommend active sports: soccer, hockey, or just running.

Neither my mom nor my dad led me by the hand anywhere; whatever I heard, saw, or wanted to do, I went for it. For a guy, developing physical strength is useful. Like most teenagers, I wanted a muscular torso, but it didn't work out—I was naturally skinny. I lifted weights sporadically, but it didn't yield major results.

After trying for a few months with no real change, I concluded it was a matter of physical constitution. I studied body types: there are Herculeses and there are Apollos. It's hard for an Apollo to get bulked up, just as it's hard for a Hercules to stay lean. Naturally, as boys, we all wanted to be strong, muscular, and weigh more.

Physical Awareness and Sensory Perceptions

I often feel the need to wash my hands—a mild, uncomfortable feeling on them. I don't remember being a neat freak or obsessively washing my hands as a child.

I don't feel my body well, and sometimes I fail to notice physical discomforts.

I can go without feeling hunger for a long time. For instance, when I travel to an expo for work, I'm like a camel: I eat breakfast in the morning and don't eat again until late at night if it's interesting and there's a lot to get done—food just doesn't cross my mind. People around me drop from exhaustion, saying, "We can't keep going, we need to eat."

When it comes to food, I prefer saltier, spicier, stronger flavors. I don't have refined taste buds or a delicate sense of smell. I notice smells, but I wouldn't say acutely. It's not that I don't smell them at all, though.

There was a time when I was genuinely interested in smelling food—inhaling its aroma before, so to speak, popping it into my mouth.

Overcoming Misplaced Childhood Shyness

Once, in early elementary school, my parents sent me to a Pioneer summer camp called "Zelyony Gorod" (Green Town). There, suitcases with our clothes were put into storage. I spent twenty-one days at the camp, and the weather was terrible the entire shift. I was freezing, but I was too shy to ask the camp counselors for the clothes in my suitcase. I remember what a problem that was for me back then. I was cold for weeks, yet too timid to ask.

Today, I can't even comprehend that mindset. Asking for something, feeling shy about natural, basic needs—that happens to children like that. I remember that issue as a source of bitterness and resentment back then—an irrational, unfounded shyness. These are basic things, yet you feel embarrassed to ask.

You need to tell a child that if they feel uncomfortable or deeply miserable, they shouldn't hesitate to speak up. I even remember that asking to go to the bathroom in front of people felt like utter humiliation for some reason.

Drive, Extreme Sports, and Self-Control

Today, my two passions are downhill skiing and freediving/scuba diving. I don’t do it for the extreme thrill, but for the drive and the sense of overcoming a challenge. I am not recklessly adventurous—though I used to take excessive risks occasionally—and I have no desire to operate on the edge of disaster. Reckless bravado feels wrong, illogical, and irrational to me.

You need to control the situation and master your body, even if doing so becomes difficult when pushing your limits. You don't do it just to chase an adrenaline rush, but for the pleasure of mastering your body, speed, and similar sensations. I love downhill skiing; I took it up later in life, but now I absolutely adore it.

Travelling and Appreciation of Beauty

I enjoy traveling, seeing how people live, exploring different cities, and checking out landmarks. I traveled extensively around Europe, which was very interesting. Now it holds less appeal for me because my eyes have already seen and understood certain things.

Currently, I'm more interested in the sea, mountains—things like that. I like taking solo walks in nature. On the other hand, I'm a city guy and never thought much about nature, even though my parents took me camping and fishing on weekends when I was little, walking miles through sand along riverbanks. I remember staying overnight out there; I felt completely fine and comfortable, and nothing felt particularly tough. It’s not that I experienced grand delight, but there were zero negative feelings either. We also went skiing.

Nowadays, I can stand on the embankment and admire a simple, beautiful sunset or a river. Sometimes I stop just to appreciate simple things—they bring me joy, even if they aren't grand works of art. On the other hand, when you see majestic natural wonders—stunning mountains, gorges, the ocean depths—that fills me with awe, too. Maybe I even get overly enthusiastic about those things at times.

A Lifelong Love for Reading and Audiobooks

I’m well-versed in history, geography, and topics like politics. I find them easy and engaging.

I developed a love for reading on my own; no one pushed me into it. I believe it’s important to instill a love of reading in every child. Starting from early elementary school, I read fiction voraciously—a ton of science fiction, plus technical, scientific, and adventure literature.

Second, my entire school career was accompanied by acquiring extra knowledge. Radio technical college, then university—I read a lot. Later came economics literature, which was fascinating.

Fiction is one thing—it's just engaging, an entire world you submerge yourself in and live in. Useful general information is another matter. I was interested in politics and social sciences—basically everything connected with real life. TV is bad because the quality of broadcasts is becoming increasingly primitive.

I read rather slowly—maybe thoughtfully, maybe something else—but I absorb spoken information exceptionally well. In that sense, audiobooks and audio lectures give me a huge amount. If all that material had been in print, I wouldn't have read even ten percent of the volume.

For the past three years, I’ve been devouring audiobooks and lectures. It has given me so much, and it serves as a core tool for me. I sometimes hear people say, "I can't drive and focus on listening at the same time." For me, driving and taking in information happens automatically.

Protecting Others and Standing Up for Truth

I wasn't a troublemaker; I was just a regular neighborhood kid. I spent a lot of time outside, played soccer, but nobody in the yard ever said, "Look, there grows a troublemaker, a bandit." Nothing even close to that. I think I was a pretty good boy from the neighbors' point of view.

I was always in the thick of things with my group, often as a leader.

I remember very well, especially from my school days—specifically elementary school—that I was always bothered by injustice toward the weak. If anyone picked on the weak, I would often step up to defend them. That trait showed up later in the army, too. I was never a provocateur or the one initiating fights.

Physically, I was average—definitely not a weakling, but not super strong either. But that wasn't what mattered to me. Fights as a way to resolve issues never appealed to me. But standing up for the truth or defending someone weaker—that would automatically ignite inside me.

Trusting People and Viewing Relationships

To me, another person, human relations—just normal, respectful relations, even moderately normal ones—are a value. Every person has the right to be treated with respect. I think I am fairly gentle and democratic in how I treat my subordinates.

I don't have my own psychological toolkit for reading people. In reality, I am poor at reading people, and nowadays I would introduce a child or teenager to certain basic concepts of Socionics—explaining that people view the world differently and giving them a glimpse into that.

My principle is: every person deserves trust until proven otherwise. And frankly, they often have to prove the opposite to me multiple times. I don't catch on right away when I'm being used or deceived. I believe in the good in people.

You shouldn't talk to a child about people in purely dark shades—telling them everyone around them is a scoundrel, out to trick or manipulate them. You just need to explain how diverse people are.

I am not afraid of relationships, nor am I afraid of being broken, turned inside out, or anything like that. If something happens in a relationship, I react and defend myself. In any case, I am not afraid of relationship problems.

Attitude Toward Weather, Overall Mood, and Time Management

Sometimes I can be hot-headed, but most of the time, I suppose I am pretty balanced, though there are moments when I can get worked up and flare up.

All my life, even now, I try to convince everyone: "Guys, rain is wonderful weather!" It really is great weather. I don't care whether it's snow, a blizzard, or rain. You just have to dress properly. I am always in a good mood. People tell me, "Oh, it's autumn, it's raining, I'm in a bad mood." I almost never experience that. Being in a bad mood is extremely rare for me.

When life gets tough, that's understandable, but during normal, smooth times, my mood is always good. Many people are surprised by my upbeat, high energy, as they say.

What does my mood depend on, and when can it worsen? When you haven't finished something, did a poor job, missed a deadline, or failed to reach a goal. A lot of time has passed, and you haven't achieved a result or you've wasted time.

If I need to do something with my hands, I work slowly. And now, over the years, I've stopped enjoying doing that kind of work, so it's better to get it done with the help of other people. Managing and using my brain—that's much more interesting and suitable for me.

Sometimes I notice that I waste time. And once that time is gone and I haven't accomplished much of value, I get very dissatisfied with myself—"lost another day" or "lost so many hours again." Unfortunately, I can't seem to draw a lesson from it and stop repeating the pattern. It happens to me time and time again. That can be a reason for my own self-dissatisfaction.

However, I get over things quickly, and I don't stay in a bad mood for long. I'm never down for extended periods.

LIEs sometimes get into a mood where they become prickly and hard to approach. At those moments, they might be dissatisfied with something or start nitpicking. That happens when I'm annoyed about something, or if things aren't going the way I wanted.

Source: How to Raise a Child Without Complexes by O. Mikhevnina