Seduction Guide for ILI Girls

What makes an ILI-type girl different?

A female ILI is a combination of Obstinacy, Declarativeness, Negativism (idealism), Victimhood, and Coolness. An ILI is like an iceberg — everything most important and interesting is hidden beneath the surface. Reaching it is difficult, and understanding it is even harder. Her face and words rarely reflect the emotions raging inside her, and she prefers to surround her personal life with a veil of secrecy. As a rule, she dresses modestly, often looks around, but doesn’t initiate activity herself. She can’t exactly be called a shy girl, but she is much more inclined toward contemplation, melancholy, and calmness.

ILI is perhaps one of the most complex female types that men encounter when meeting women. In a female ILI, the abilities of a researcher and a “digger” (in the broadest sense) are combined. Her critically minded intellect is aimed at detecting problems and weak spots. Her erudition is often beyond praise.

A Farsighted Negativist. Her main tasks are not so much to develop and push things forward, but to poke around, expose weak and strong points, discover the limits of possibilities (and immediately close them) or mark, by her very presence, the extreme degree of what is permissible and safe. Caution in choosing does not prevent her from navigating external situations well.

Caution is the result of not wanting to immediately take anyone’s side. Her intuition and inner assessment are usually excellent, and female ILI looks closely and carefully evaluates her preferences and sympathies, since her choice will always be of an individual nature.

Does the “ILI decay” apply to all carriers of this TIM?

The appearance of a female ILI next to someone who has achieved something signals the approach of trials and difficult changes. In a sense, she is a thermometer that picks up any temperature fluctuations. Female ILI is a defect detector. They tend to see flaws better than others.

ILIs generally live according to two basic scenarios: either female ILI becomes a gloomy romantic or a cheerful misanthrope. Just kidding, of course. Among them there are also excellent businesswomen-entrepreneurs, athletes, and even pop stars.

For all her pessimism, an ILI is an optimist with a good dose of black humor. When everything is good, she finds flaws, but when everything is bad, female ILI starts proving the opposite. She is a diametric responder. If you want agreement from her, she will deny it; if you want her to say “no,” female ILI will unexpectedly start saying “yes!”

It should be noted that in communication, this is a pragmatic type who doesn’t like wasting time on empty talk. A female ILI can relax and stop looking around, but only far from her usual sphere of interests or deep in her dreams.

What does the “Critic” really want? The requests of an intuitive girl

The “man of her dreams” in the life of an ILI woman sometimes has completely fantastic features, which is why it is so difficult for her to choose a guy she would want to stay with or even sleep with. But remember: a woman’s fantasies and what can actually awaken her sensuality here and now, in reality, are two completely different things.

A self-sufficient female ILI will be attracted to a man who needs her no more than she needs him. All the men in her life follow her around, feeding on illusory hopes. They fear her stern gaze, which makes it difficult for them to show determination and act confidently.

How can you be on equal terms with her? First, spark interest; second, do not demonstrate inflated significance.

She craves the appearance of a man who will literally conquer her heart. In female ILI’s case, you should resort to the classic archetype of a dominant man who bursts in and saves her from an endless series of unsuccessful experiments in her personal life.

Most often, she subconsciously wants a suitor who will awaken passion in her, seduce her, pull her close, tame her, and leave her breathless with the desire for an immediate repeat. In response, she will surrender to the mercy of her tamer, showing deep, unmasked submission. She will relax in soul and body and allow you to do whatever you want with her. This is exactly why seducing a female ILI is such an exciting and intriguing adventure, which, for the same reasons, will require real skill from you. The more priceless the treasure, the thicker the walls of the treasury. The main mistake men make with ILI girls is impatience and excessive zeal.

How to overcome the thorny path to a ILI’s heart?

A female ILI has reasons to protect and surround herself with an invisible fence against advances from various eccentric, emotional types. Despite the fact that she is drawn to the Passionate type, at the same time, passion repels her. From girls of this type, you can often hear complaints about SEEs, some of whom may seem “too passionate” to them.

Remember that behind the Cool communication style and Obstinacy lies a sensitive, deep, sexual, and charming person. To make her drop her armor, you must walk a fine line and convince her that you will not make her suffocate in captivity or feel pressure, while simultaneously showing that you know what love and genuine intimacy are. What do you need to possess? Determination, purposefulness, and moderate volitional pressure.

The main thing is not to fuss. Act without noise and dust.

So, female ILI sets up a powerful emotional barrier that almost prevents men from reaching her heart. She is a Cool, Obstinate Negativist, which means active resistance to sex, since physical intimacy is associated for her with strong feelings. As a Logic-Constructivist, she can harshly cut off attempts at flirting, which is why it can be difficult to reach the level of mutual understanding and harmony where she feels safe and lets a man into the cherished world of her sexuality.

In addition, as an Introverted Irrational, she often sets flexible boundaries or runs tests to slow down the progression of sexual relations, thereby preserving her trump cards and power over her admirers.

For example, she may accuse a man of being a womanizer and force him to defend himself. The reaction of most guys in this case comes down to submission and loss of their power; because of this behavior, the poor guys immediately end up in the “friend zone.” In a superficial sense, she thus gets what she wants — that same emotional safety. But sexual satisfaction remains an unattainable dream, because she has only protected her vulnerable function.

Remaining an idealist (Negativist), deep down a ILI woman never stops believing that one day she will meet “the one.” It can be said that she searches for him in this peculiar way: she remains in a passive state and creates a social vacuum around herself, giving men the opportunity to take on leadership. The irony is that her deliberate calmness and self-confidence knock the ground out from under most men’s feet, making them mumble and grovel. She won’t tell you what to do — she’ll just sit back comfortably and watch whether you resemble a real man.

Because of her Foresight and Negativism, an ILI constantly calculates possible negative scenarios: What if he leaves? What if he loses interest? What if he cheats? This is why ignoring her, mocking her, or playing hard-to-get usually fails — she has already mentally played out these scenarios and prepared her exit. Instead, catch her off guard with genuine kindness. A thoughtful gift, meaningful help, making her feel truly special, or sharing something intimate at the right moment can create surprisingly strong affection.

To bypass her emotional barrier, we will describe three key stages of seduction.

Three Key Stages of Seduction

1. Awakening Interest

If you approach a female ILI incorrectly, you will immediately face one of two reactions. She will either completely ignore you or, what is even more unpleasant, let you talk until you’re blue in the face or until you run out of topics, “encouraging” you with a completely absent facial expression. First of all, remember that she has vulnerable Ethics of Emotions (Fe), so an emotionally pushy approach is not for her.

Use the situation: casually comment on the environment around you or her current activity. At the same time, try to radiate friendly, almost platonic energy. A female ILI’s consciousness is an interweaving of opposites — she is an Irrational Negativist, but at the same time a Practical Logic (Te) type, and fantasies about possible developments of events are born one after another in her head.

The best way to interest a female ILI is to tease her. Avoid compliments if she hasn’t earned them. Play around, don’t take her too seriously, and don’t forget to poke fun. If she tries to put on a cold or arrogant look, tell her it’s witty.

Note: The ideal way to tease her is to start joking about what she is doing, without overdoing it and completely without malice, with warmth in your voice. Most guys make a gross mistake here by overdoing the mockery. They are too cruel. On the other hand, guys who avoid the playful tone of conversation will seem too nice to her (read: “boring”).

2. Maintaining Interest

ILI girls are not tolerant of men who try to seduce them with convincing speeches laced with feigned self-confidence. Such conversations have long bored them. Often, Victim-type women like sexual undertones and aggressiveness, but female ILI is an exception. Such an approach will seem predictable and easily recognizable to her; in other words, she will treat it as something painfully familiar and therefore devoid of any attractiveness.

To give the conversation momentum and awaken genuine interest in you, you must be unpredictable and under no circumstances show that she attracts you sexually. The key to success here is “Intrigue.” Any intrigue means your opinion or observation about the woman that will awaken emotions in her, whether negative or positive. At the same time, it is important not to rush and not to pressure her. Let her get used to her state.

Hint to her that something has not escaped your attention that will upset her, but do not reveal your cards. For example: “I don’t know how to say this, I just saw something that will probably ruin your evening… But don’t worry, you’re still better.”

You need to make her:
a) focus her attention on you, because you are talking about her;
b) fall into bewilderment because she doesn’t understand whether your opinion/observation is flattering or the opposite.

3. Establishing Connection

Actually, establishing a connection with ILI women is not difficult, if only because other guys do a poor job of it. They are not inclined to make hints that would signal to them that she wants you to approach. But let’s assume you are one of those guys who knows for sure that she is a ILI, and therefore understands that her emotional coldness is not because you are indifferent to her, but simply a property of her nature.

So, the main thing is not to try to sweet-talk her with compliments or reduce everything to sexual hints and jokes. On the other hand, do not turn into a bore talking about career and life goals. Everything should be light and fun. Talk about music, funny hobbies, random adventures with which you have recently colored your life.

Even better — get your interlocutor talking. In life she is taciturn, so if she relaxes, she won’t be stopped (Declatim). And this is an excellent sign, because her Volitional Sensing (Se) will take over, and she will not be able to resist her fantasies in which you are seducing her. Therefore, the more you filter the conversation, the higher your chances!

To achieve what you want, you should ask good questions. If the conversation turns to her work, ask why she likes it or what her ideal job looks like. Key questions should boil down to “why do you do/think/say it that way?” and “what did that mean to you?”

Since ILIs are an Obstinate type with strong Ni, they usually sense when someone is trying to lead them. Paradoxically, this is often pleasant for them — they interpret it as genuine interest and a desire for their presence. By gently directing her, you show that you are actively participating in her life rather than remaining passive.

Intimate Zone. Physical Contact

Feelings require time, and if a female ILI flares up quickly for some reason, it means she hasn’t found a response for a long time. Romance is possible only in light and fleeting affairs, while in building long-term relationships she is a serious “buyer.” This means that you should quickly move your relationship into a sexual plane without putting pressure on her… while at the same time creating in her the image of potential romantic relations. SEEs have this skill in their blood, but it can be learned and applied in life once you understand the contradictory and confusing nature of ILI.

The closer to the body, the more nuances. But the more specifics and concrete, the easier it is to make a mistake.

Of course, everything that will be discussed below is very fragile. You need to take many nuances into account for it to work. I will only talk about the tendency, about a certain line to follow. But there are exceptions. You need to remember that every case and every situation is unique. You should also not forget that we are talking about the third stage. If you haven’t grasped the first two, there’s no point in reading about the third.

Body Language

ILIs do not like it when guys approach their faces too suddenly. Maintain a “hip to hip” position. Try to do something active: play billiards, take a walk side by side, examine something interesting together, or dance, avoiding excessive eye contact. There is no need to activate her vulnerable Ethics of Emotions (Fe) prematurely. Keep in mind that emotional tension activates paranoia in ILI. Who knows why he’s looking at me like that. It is difficult for them to adequately read your emotions on your face. Are you angry, aroused, or one of a dozen other options? It is advisable to engage more Practical Logic (Te), to verbalize your attitude. Do not create a situation where she will be forced to guess for you.

There is no need for classic romantic candlelit dinners on the first date. Better go to a sports bar, shoot some pool, and watch the game. Even better — join her friends at some public event. ILIs like a relaxed atmosphere and have a hard time withstanding a romantic one. They perceive classic courtship as pressure. A female ILI is turned on by freedom and independence. The same thing appeals to most guys, so don’t try to impress her with sentimental nonsense. Make her part of your life; let everything be simple and unpretentious. A female ILI is Self-Sufficient and Obstinate. If you start pushing her with romance she isn’t ready for, she will send you packing. And in general, less puppy-like charm. If you look at her like the cat from 'Shrek', she will most likely conclude that you are simply a jerk.

Touch

Because of her vulnerable Ethics of Emotions (Fe), a female ILI does not like aggressive touching in public. However, when you are alone, persistence will work in your favor. You won’t lose points by trying to take a new height; she respects this in men. This is of paramount importance, because if you don’t manage to sleep with her quickly enough, you will face the sad fate of one of the guys circling her “in orbit,” never getting closer to the center. The general rule works here: with Decisive women, you need to act decisively. Of course, she is unlikely to agree with this. You need to understand that we are talking about her Vital part. She doesn’t have to agree with it. In terms of Volitional Sensing (Se), female ILI is a child. She doesn’t know if she wants it or not until she tries it. She herself doesn’t realize what is happening to her at that moment. If she becomes aware of it, then you are doing something wrong.

ILI’s Se is one-dimensional and based entirely on personal experience. What one ILI perceives as confident assertiveness, another may see as rude or pushy. Calibrate your pressure carefully. Be proactive and decisive, but know when to ease off without disappearing completely. Never rush or show fussiness — fidgeting and nervousness are instantly read as weakness and insecurity.

As you get closer to a female ILI, try to touch her nobly and tenderly, as nobles did in bygone centuries. Hold her hand, gently guide her with a light push on the back, tenderly run your hands over her arms and back. All of this will not leave her indifferent. A female ILI is Self-Sufficient, so it is important that she finds it interesting and wants it herself. Maintain patience and control over the situation. Can you guess what will happen if she gets aroused? The wall will fall. And what she represses will activate in her. This is an extremely noticeable change.

An irrefutable sign of a female ILI, ironically, reveals itself during serious rapprochement. I’m talking about the first kiss. Here you will find the clue. You lean toward her lips, and she slightly turns away. She doesn’t run away, doesn’t slap you, doesn’t push you away. She just turns her head. This doesn’t mean “stop,” it means “try again, I need your persistence, because I’m scared.”

Feature: A female ILI will never just turn away. If she doesn’t want to kiss, she will laugh, push you away, or pull back and look at you like you’re crazy. If she is not against the kiss, she will part her lips without hesitation. In fact, she may even take the initiative herself. Since ILIs are straightforward, you shouldn’t expect hints from them. And you shouldn’t interpret their words or actions ambiguously. The beauty is that ILI girls speak directly, without half-hints. But if you start being vague, female ILI will become vague too.

After kissing a female ILI, the gates of her citadel will open — if, of course, you know how to kiss. If not, expect desperate resistance. An IEI might simply resign herself and move to the next stage. But in female ILI’s case, you may encounter various verbal resistance; however, watch her body. Her lips, sighs, and the overall energy coming from her will tell you that she wants more. Be attentive, patient, and treat her body like a shrine.

That’s all! I won’t write about sex because if you don’t know what to do at this stage, I won’t be able to help you.

Source: S. Ionkin