Polina A. (ILI) - On Relationships

All people are the same; there is something white and something black in everyone. There are no clearly defined villains or angels. Sometimes I have a "black humor" attitude toward people. A friend of mine loves being late, and I tell her: "One day I’ll kill you, and I’ll be acquitted."

<...> To me, the actions of those around me sometimes seem senseless. For example, someone might just be rude to another person for no reason—laugh at them or mock them. Not even out of revenge; if it were revenge, there would be some meaning, but they do it for nothing. And that person might carry that hurt for the rest of their life.

I don’t know how to hold a grudge at all. Again, I don’t understand people who, for no reason, say: "I’m not talking to you." There are no reasons; it's strange. I’ve met such people; I looked at them, but I didn't hold a grudge against anyone. There are just people like that: they just stop talking. At first, it bothers me, then I realize the person does this all the time—it’s just a quirk they have.

<...> A child like this needs to be explained that there are no "only bad" or "only good" people; everyone has everything, and all of life has pros and cons. But to make life easier, you need to look for the pros, not the cons. If you fixate on the negatives, things will be bad, but if you look for the positives, things will be good.

When parents discuss acquaintances in a negative light, it becomes unpleasant. People come over and smile, but then it turns out to be hypocrisy. When people leave and others start saying nasty things about them, it’s unpleasant for me. You shouldn't harshly judge people in front of a child; you need to soften it a bit—don't say bad things. You can say something neutral. It’s better not to destroy relationships with people. It is very important for adults to tell a child that the people around them are good. You need to maintain that direction.