Elena V. (LII) - Relationships

I judge a person by how correctly and tactfully they behave. It’s a simple "yes" or "no." Are they smart? Are they polite? Do they have a handle on the situation? I cannot stand hysteria.

To perceive a person’s mood or feelings through facial expressions, gestures, or a turn of the head is beyond my comprehension. I don't "feel" these things. It is impossible for me to orient myself quickly, break it down logically, and track that entire chain of cues—it just doesn't work for me. And as for sensing it intuitively—I simply don't have that capacity.

If the behavior of someone close to me deviates from the norm, I ask: "What happened?" I need a reason; otherwise, I feel bad—a sense of gloom. I begin to slowly and gradually investigate the cause, asking questions... I ask a question, get an answer—no, the cause isn't there. Not there either, so I must keep looking. There must be a logical reason for everything. For me, even a person saying, "I don't know, I just feel bad," counts as a reason; I’ll think, "Well, maybe it’s a headache." I will find a reason that logically justifies their state regardless.

If I cannot uncover the cause, I will leave them alone. I won't pace around worrying about their "soul searching" or emotional angst.