Natalia V. (ESI)

I am naturally inclined to be negative toward people. If I don't know someone well, I’m more likely to expect trouble from them; it’s difficult for me to sense how a relationship with that person will develop. My bet is on distrust. I always anticipate that someone might let me down in any given situation.

Over time, my attitude toward certain people changes, and I begin to realize that a person is good. I might even feel that I can—perhaps—rely on them. But in the end, the only person I can fully rely on is myself.

My primary criterion for judging people is reliability, and such people are very rare. To me, a reliable person is someone you can count on in business or in difficult situations. They don’t just say, "Everything will be fine!"; they provide concrete help. There are very few people like that.

Warm feelings only arise in my soul if a person is reliable. If they are unreliable, I feel no emotional connection whatsoever.

I have always done what I want. If I’m uncomfortable with someone, I don’t particularly value the connection: "Right, that’s it! I’m not interested in you." However, if I hurt someone, I suffer. I might show someone through my demeanor, "You don’t interest me, go away"—but I only do this to protect myself from suffering later on.

Source: How to Raise a Child Without Complexes by O. Mikhevnina