Dmitry A. (SLE) - On responsibility, right and wrong, rules and regulations

I’ll talk again about inner responsibility. Such a child has some deep, internal understanding of what is good and bad, necessary and unnecessary, right and wrong. These things are unshakable. If something fits my personal rule of what is right, then that’s how it will be.

I learned from my relatives how things were done in our family: we hang the towel here. I understand that you could also not hang the towel there, but that would be inconvenient. It would personally cause me inconvenience. Why hang it there at all? But if I’ve agreed that this is probably the optimal option — that we hang the towel exactly here, put the pots here, that it doesn’t block the passage, doesn’t ruin the overall look, is easy to reach, and there’s somewhere to put things — then I agree with that. That’s right.

But if some object or thing is not where it should be (in my view), then why isn’t it there? I will notice it. It’s wrong.

They close the door. Why do doors have to be closed? I need space — I will definitely open all the doors.

And I notice a half-closed door too — it doesn’t fit into my idea of “right.” It’s very important what kind of “right–wrong” parents instill in a child.

<...> You’re not allowed, but I am. Rules are not for me. What do you mean “not allowed”? And why not?

“You must bring indoor shoes to school!” Oh, get lost with your indoor shoes. I always forgot that stupid bag with the spare shoes at school, or I’d go home wearing the indoor shoes and forget my boots there. It was a complete nightmare.

Why all these conventions? Who needs them? Who benefits?

SLEs always protest against rules and regulations. And who sets these rules anyway? Are they even an authority? Who wrote the rules? Who are they to begin with?

<...> When I started to understand things a bit, around fifth or sixth grade, I thought: “If a police officer is always supposed to be righteous, then why do traffic cops take bribes? So he’s using the fact that I’m supposed to be righteous. Then you be righteous too! And if we’re all unrighteous, then let’s at least be honest about it.”

“You must line up by height.” Why on earth must we line up by height? I don’t like standing next to some people, and with others I do. And why do we have to stand in a line at all? I want to sit down. Why are there all these things that no one can explain?

<…> And the simplest answer is: “That’s how it’s done, that’s what’s right, that’s what’s required.” Required by whom? I don’t need it. “You must!” I don’t owe anyone anything.

<…> If we talk about whether to send a SLE child to a military academy — you should think carefully first. Military life means regulations, strict rules, prescribed actions — all of which irritate me. If I don’t control the situation, then I’m submitting to the rules. The only way I could avoid rules in the army is by being a commander, but to become a commander you have to go through all that regulatory stuff. It stresses me out. I’m afraid those regulations would simply ruin my brain. They’d stitch up all my nonconformity with their rules. So the prospect of the army scares me a bit — precisely because of that rigidly structured system.