Svetlana S. (SEI)

About flowers. A daffodil is a purely cool-colored flower — it’s not mine, it’s just a flower. But a red peony, now that’s red — it radiates warmth, it’s pleasant. You want to just hug it, kiss it, and who knows what else — there’s a kind of rapture in the soul.

And lilacs — oh, I’d love to pick an armful of lilacs, bury my face in them, sink into them — I don’t even have the words. Pure delight! I also love primroses — I have all kinds: purple, red ones — it’s such a pleasure to look at them, pure joy.

Evenings at the country house are wonderful: the scent of night violets, the sun setting, the sky darkening, the forest standing off in the distance, and silence... nightingales singing — it’s such harmony, peace, nothing else is needed. You just want to live, and live, and live like that. I love walking barefoot on the ground.

My morning mood varies. If it’s winter, the sun is shining, the sky is clear, and it’s frosty — then my mood is instantly good. I feel ready for action, I can get things done, make decisions. If I walk the dog in that kind of weather, I get so much enjoyment from it.

When I walk, I look at the sky, the trees, the snow. Especially in winter: the snow crunches underfoot, frost clings to the trees, and I think, “My God, this is eternity, this is everything, this is happiness — it’s simply amazing. And how much do people really need in life to be happy?”

The body needs to move, to feel alive. Back when I was younger, I would go to the bathhouse. My mother would come and ask, “Are you still alive in there?” But I needed time: to slowly toss more steam, sweat, scrub, breathe. Everything should be done unhurriedly, to enjoy it. Prepare the little birch broom so it gives off a scent, wash slowly. When you enter the steam room — a shiver runs through you, a kind of chill, and then you warm up, heat up, and it’s warm, peaceful, wonderful.

My mood and sense of well-being depend on how I feel physically, how I’m dressed, and how I look. I feel completely calm, I feel confident when I have a bit of makeup on and am dressed nicely. If I don’t feel put together and suddenly catch a side glance from someone, I start to feel like something’s off, that I don’t look right, and a sense of insecurity creeps in. When I feel like that, I try not to go anywhere or make any decisions. But when my appearance is in order, confidence kicks in, and everything starts to come together for me.

I can always sense the emotional atmosphere around me. Sometimes you get on a bus and there’s the conductor, and when they start talking you can immediately feel what kind of atmosphere they create. One person alone can set the tone for everyone.

I can get in aggressive mood if someone from my family comes onto my territory and starts pointing out what’s wrong or what isn’t the way they think it should be. I hold it in and hold it in, and then I start to explode. I might yell at them, I might even throw something — that happens, but only at home. Outside the house I won’t shout or make a scene. If I don’t let it out, it’s very hard for me to deal with my emotions — I have a lot of energy.

There are three people working in our shift. One is quite balanced and calm. Another can get irritated and start lecturing someone: this is wrong, that is wrong. I try to balance things out, turn it into a joke. And the third one is always bossing everyone around. Here too I try to smooth things over — sometimes I make a joke, sometimes I stay quiet, sometimes I tell her, “You’re not right, my friend.” But actually arguing — what for?

Because of my job, I now spend most of my time talking to people on the phone. Residents call, sometimes they’re irritated — all kinds of things happen. So here you try to speak calmly and kindly: “Hello, could you please tell me your address once again more precisely…” Everything is said in a calm voice with a friendly tone. I ask them what their problem is. I always try to defuse aggression. Once you sort out the issue and give the person some guidance, you can immediately feel how they warm up emotionally and calm down. Sometimes they even call later to say thank you.

I try to turn rudeness and irritation into neutral emotions. Sometimes you just say something a little more gently.

I might say to a woman, “What a beautiful blouse you’re wearing — you look wonderful.” I see that the person starts thinking something nice about herself and warms up.

If I need to come to an agreement with someone about something, I go and calmly explain everything. And of course I smile, find the right approach.

It never happens that I fail to resolve an issue.

I can find common ground with anyone. I don’t have absolute inner certainty that I’ll reach an agreement with everyone, but I use all my charm: “blah-blah, sweet talk…” I try to speak sincerely. If a person is busy or talking to someone else, I try not to intrude. I pause and let them finish their conversation so as not to irritate them if I need something. I understand that you have to adapt to the person.