Alexander N. (SEI) about Exploring Sensations

Parents pass their fears on to their children. You could say parents take revenge on their children for their own fears. “How come the child isn't afraid, but I am? Well, let me make him afraid too.”

A child runs barefoot in -30°C? Ah! That’s it! The parents have a heart attack. But a child needs to reach many understandings on their own, with their own awareness. A child should come to many realizations in life independently.

Parents should try to keep their own worldview to themselves, and let the child develop their own — that way, it will be less distorted. The child will perceive, feel, and understand reality as it truly is, not through a set of lenses and masks.

Overprotectiveness is very dangerous: “Wear this, eat that.” Care and support should be within reasonable bounds. A child should be given choices: “Will you wear this or that?” In my case, everything was strict. Strict programs were instilled — programs for illness. If my parents said, “Put on your hat or you’ll catch a cold,” it was imprinted, and I would end up freezing, getting sick, catching colds. In early childhood, I had a sense of freedom — I could run here, or I could go there. It was wonderful. I could do something or not do it. Then they shut me down. It had to be only the way the parents allowed. Only that way and no other. It felt painful — like the murder of my inner world.