Svetlana Ch. (SEE) - Helping Others

I can help. My people, not my people… I will help. Not everyone, of course.

When you sense that someone needs help, there’s simply nothing to discuss. But you can feel when a person is taking advantage — I sense that very finely — and it causes irritation, and communication fades away. No one clarifies the relationship, but you start keeping your distance.

Before, it was taken for granted: they asked, knocked, the doors opened, and I ran to help. I had to! Where, why, for what — those questions were cut off. A call for help — and everything was dropped: personal life, my own business — everything! I didn’t even realize it. That was my normal state. But when someone “flicks you on the nose,” you wake up: “Maybe I shouldn’t?”

Do I need help in return? I don’t ask everyone for help; I don’t need that. It’s just that at certain moments you realize you’re stronger and can help this person. And when you have a certain amount of experience, you can give it, and it feels great. I’ve fulfilled my mission to help.

Sometimes I think, “Screw it! I’m tired! That’s it, I’m not helping anyone anymore, I’ll just fill my own vessel for myself and no one else,” but nothing good comes of it. It feels bad, sad — I can’t live like that, and I return to who I was.