Irina D. (2) (SEE) - Avoidance of Physical Confrontation

If a SEE grows up a loved, self-sufficient child — they will be more or less calm and confident. All our desires to show how cool we are come from insecurity. I’m a coward — I’m afraid to get into a fight; I make every diplomatic effort to avoid it.

I avoid direct confrontations, I fear physical blows, I fear being hit. You try to avoid direct collisions by all possible and impossible means, but if you can’t, you get punched, and then you stop caring, brakes come off: “I’ll die before I surrender!”

Rarely will a SEE strike first. One thought in the head: “I might kill him — what if I hit wrong and kill him?!” When you get older and gain experience — someone had their eye knocked out, someone got a concussion — you look at all that and think: “Damn, that could have happened to me!” SEEs fear bodily harm.

Once my friend and I were walking home from a bar. A drunk guy started harassing us. He began waving his arms, trying to fight. I realized nothing good would come of it. I can strongly sense dangerous situations where you need to jump into the fight: someone starts hitting me, my knees shake, black spots appear before my eyes, and I’m ready to kill. I shake all over, my hands tremble… But if I see danger and there’s a chance to run — I’ll run.

Well, in that state I kicked that man all over. A rare event for me, horror in the dark.