Irina D. (2) (SEE) - Activity, Energy, and Impulsivity

My life is quite hectic. My days go in such a way that plans fall apart in an instant and events flip one hundred and eighty degrees. I plan one trip, then get a call — I turn around and go in the opposite direction. I arrive somewhere and realize I forgot the paperwork, so I drive back to the other end of the city. I get there and remember that I didn’t take all the papers — so I go again. I’m constantly running around like crazy.

At school I could put textbooks in my bag for the wrong day entirely, or mix up the day itself. Like someone bitten — during the break I’d dash out, change the textbooks, and then race back to school.

Turning around one hundred and eighty degrees — no problem, and at the same time forgetting to call the person I originally ran to see, or to warn them that I’m running late.

I have no restraint at all, even though I don’t like unprepared actions. I don’t need much time to prepare. But when you’re checking what you need to take, talking on the phone, watching TV, answering your husband, chasing your daughter — all at the same time… naturally, you end up missing or forgetting something...

Sometimes I make plans, sit down and write them point by point. I write them in the evening — and can’t find them in the morning. I don’t really need order anyway, I just need to get everything done somehow!

<...> I love driving. I drive very fast, sharply. I love fast driving. Fast! Sharp! I used to rush around like crazy at all times.

My day goes by at an impossibly fast pace. Today I drove from the upper part of the city to the lower part six times. Buying soil for flowers, going to a company to sign a contract, rushing to the bank, then to another company to deliver a letter. So by evening I’m sometimes just completely exhausted.

Today I ran into shopping mall. I was racing around the entire store with a cart, making laps around the aisles, looking for what I needed. On the way I’d grab a T-shirt for my daughter, a terry sheet for my husband, something else… Then I stop, stand there, look at all that, and ask myself: “Why did I come here? For soil. Put everything back!” That’s how I am — I see something: “Oh wow!” — and put it in the cart. First I grab things, and only later start realizing what I’m doing. This goes in, that goes in... So, I put everything back in place and dashed off for the soil. I needed twenty 20-liter bags of lawn soil.

I’m very impulsive, the frenzy is exhausting. I’m tired of myself. I can’t slow myself down, I have no patience at all.