Irina D. (1) (SEE) - Will, Independence, and “I Want!”

I am the mistress of my own territory, my own time, my own “I want!” I’ve always been a rather free-spirited girl — did whatever I wanted.

<...> If there’s some task and I don’t feel like doing it — I don’t. It’s not a matter of principle for me. I need to get fired up about the task, I need to want it. If I want it — I’ll move mountains; if I don’t — I’ll destroy those mountains, I’ll get all nervous, irritated, lashing out at everyone, doing everything through sheer force.

If I’m busy with my own things and someone tries to intrude, it’s hard for me to even turn toward them. Turning when _I_want to — easy; but if someone tries to force that turn — I turn darker than a storm cloud.

<...> In my relationship with my parents, I wanted: “Go, buy whatever you think is necessary, whatever you want.” But they always imposed things on me: “Wear this, eat that.” But I can’t! It tormented me!”

<...> If you stand in the way of an SEE, they’ll sweep you away. If a child of this type starts pestering in a store with their “I want,” you must agree softly, calmly, without emotion: “Alright, alright, I’ll buy it.” But if you don’t buy it, that will be bad. They remember promises.

Don’t refuse their wishes outright: agree first, and then gently redirect to a different desire.

Never say “no.” Never, under any circumstances! Better say: “Let’s walk around a bit more, look around, think about it.” If you don’t buy it — disappointment ruins the mood.

If the child is older, you can explain, or better show whether there’s money or not, how much things cost — or best not take them to the store at all.

Their wishes are easily forgotten, change quickly. Rarely do they have desires that stay for long. I, for example, wanted a doll stroller very much — I remembered that one for a long time.