Alexey R. (ILI) - Excellent Memory for Past Events, Reliving them from Memory

Anticipation of what is to come and the aftertaste of what has already happened are felt more sharply over time than the present moment.

I feel well in which temporal slices (childhood, school…) what was happening. I clearly feel that in childhood there was this and that, at school—this and that… at university—this and that happened. The time periods of childhood, youth are clearly felt. I sense several lives, where one flows into another.

One could say that you live partly in the past.

All sensations and the analysis of understanding a situation come most fully only after some time. It turns out that the past sort of layers itself onto the present, partially pushing you out of the “here and now.” For example, we discussed some problem, and the most competent thoughts about ways to solve it come when you replay the situation in your head—that is, when you mentally move into the past. The same is true of the feeling from rest or vacation—it is always delayed in time; it is not perceived as sharply in the “here and now.” All the time it turns out that in the present you are reliving the most important moments from the past.

My memories are always in motion; there are actions there (I see them before my eyes, on an inner screen): how I lived, how it went—so it goes there. The image—how everything looked there—and my internal state are remembered. The sequence of actions is remembered well.

I can immerse myself in memories by association: you come across something familiar, and by association you begin to remember, immerse yourself, and simply drop out. When I have deep memories, I try to put things that evoke them far away. You can drop out. You’re walking down the street—a bush looks like something, or a puddle with a streetlamp reflected in it—and an image arises.