Elena M. (ILE) about explanations

If an adult treats you with interest, you begin to love them and become interested in everything they give you. A little ILE is a “why-kid”; they ask adults many questions and wait for an answer. But their questions are often very unusual: “Why do clouds float across the sky? Why is the sky blue?” You need to talk to the child constantly, asking: “And what do you think, why?” They will immediately offer their own version of the answer. The child sets the topic, and it’s worth discussing that topic, bringing in additional information.

<...> You can explain something to someone endlessly, and with pleasure, for a long time. And at the same time I feel joy that I helped someone. If the person didn’t understand, then I’ll explain it in another way. I don’t mind the time or effort. Immediately there is an interest in how to phrase it even more simply; thoughts begin to work on how to explain it: break it down on fingers, draw a picture, come up with an image, or build it out of blocks.

If you need to stop my explanation, you should gently redirect my attention while showing goodwill toward me: “Let’s come back to this later.” You need to do this softly. I can sense when someone isn’t interested in what I’m explaining. If the person is interested, I will speak for a long time and enthusiastically; but if not—the indifference is felt instantly, and it’s very discouraging. It’s better if those around me don’t show their indifference but instead pretend to be engaged and smoothly steer the conversation in another direction. You can keep your own opinion, not give in to the ILE, and say: “Let’s not argue; I respect your opinion.” What matters most here is a benevolent attitude.