Alena M. (IEI) - reading the atmosphere of the place and emotional states of other people

Something unclear, blurry—images: a tree or something else, a birch bent over, something resembling something else, some kind of whisper among the trees. I’m in this state almost every day.

Before, when the atmosphere at home was heavy, I had a feeling that there was nothing ahead, that there was emptiness, and I didn’t know what the meaning of my life was.

<...> My mother lived abroad for several years and returned far from being in a good mood. I simply “picked up” her energetic state and walked around in her mood for about a year and a half. The state was such that I didn’t need anything, I didn’t care about anything at all. And it turns out that the reason for my states was that my mother came back with this mood, and it transferred to me. Now I can “separate” myself from other people’s moods—my mother lives in her mood, and I live in mine.

At home there were constant arguments—pressure, pressure, pressure—and I walked around completely drained, I didn’t need anything. I would just come home, sleep, and not even understand where I was.

Once I came home and said, “I want to go to a seminar...”
My mother said, “You have your graduation ceremony, you have to be like everyone else.”
I replied, “I don’t want to be like everyone else, you understand, what matters more to me is that I’ll be there! At the graduation everyone will drink and dance—I’m not interested in that, I have other interests. I need to receive good energy from people.”

My mother wouldn’t hear of it: “You have your graduation ceremony, you’re not going anywhere, you’ll be like everyone else.” It came to hysterics, I was shouting: “I don’t want to! What’s the point, what kind of memory is it—to get drunk with friends, when I could be at a seminar, in a good environment, and my inner state would be much lighter.” My mother never understood that.

But at the seminar people are kind, ready to help each other, there’s no falseness in their eyes. When you look at them, they’re happy to see you—sincerity. Right away some kind of calmness appears inside, kindness toward people. I feed on this and try to pass it on to others. You want to do something, you want to live (yes, that happens too). And when people shout—it makes you not want to live at all. Everything just gets so tiresome—you want peace!