Ekaterina M. (EIE) - Love for the stage, the desire to evoke a strong reaction from the audience

The only thing I have always loved is performing on stage. It’s the one thing to which I gave my whole self. As a child, I wasn’t forbidden to do it: if she likes it, let her do it. But they never understood how serious it was, how important it was for me. Later—much later—when they finally realized it, they got scared and started cutting off that air. Needless to say, living without air is… difficult. One could say impossible. I was suffocating. When I can’t do what I love, emotional suffering turns into physical pain. I feel it physically—from cramps to apathy.

My dream is to play a role without words. To say everything with my eyes, to make the audience cry or freeze in horror. The role must be powerful, tragic—not necessarily big, but important.

<...> I feel how I can change the mood of the people around me. I want to say: “Yes! I did it!” There was a birthday party. Some wild kids ran in from who knows where — uncontrollable children. They were all fighting with each other. I had to constantly calm them down, and when I felt the situation was getting out of control, I began speaking in a conspiratorial tone, theatrically widening my eyes, looking straight into theirs. You look at them in a mesmerizing way, send some mystery into the crowd, and suddenly everyone gets interested and calms down. They freeze, listen to me, reorganize themselves. All that time I was casting something over them, weaving threads above them, adjusting them to the right tune.

<…> If you truly knew me, you would know that every time I pass by the Varvarskaya “3a” (the theater school), I look into the movement studio windows and search for Valentina Vasilievna: acting is what truly brings me to life.